I know

I know I'm not good enough;
I know I'm not smart enough;
I know I'm not clever enough;
I know I'm not brave enough;
I know I'm not friendly enough;
I know I'm not talktive enough;
I know I'm not decisive enough;
I know I'm not happy enough;
I know I know I know I know I know ....
I know what I prefer to do;
I know I won't be able to do it...
I know..
I know I'm stupid...

I know I already fed up the life in Ireland. But I don't know how I can continue to hold and keep going in here. Seriously, I really want to leave with my family. I'm tired. I feel my shoulder is heavy like stone..
I really think Western culture is more suitable for me and my family.

But when I can run away??

Another 3 years??

I HOPE IS TOMORROW

Unfair... So??

Life is Unfair..
Society is Unfair..
I think everyone definite know this, but are they understand it??
Well, I know it is the way in this society but I can't understand.

I hate working. Why I hate it? May be I don't have the right job or may be it is the same in everyplace....
It is a high class and high standard restaurant. Before I worked there, I thought it would be a very good place to work because it looked good but it isn't. It is so unfair. Seriously, REALLY UNFAIR.
I think I work quite well there. Well, not brilliant but grand. But some people are so lazy and so horrible.
Now, I just returned from work. I'm actually fed up working with such people. Before I went in to work, I said to myself, get used to it and be happy. But I couldn't. When I had to worked like a servant or slave I felt myself so stupid. How come N allow to take the advantages and how come when N and others did wrong things no one realised it? WHY??
I found it hard to tell the people to cope on. Am I too good or ?? Anyway, It's too late.

And now, Again.. I say to myself get used to it and be happy while working because I know I looked very serious while working but I want to smile and happy and leave it as it is.. But I don't think I can but I will try my best the next time. I really hope it will work next time.

I DON'T WANT TO CARE ABOUT WHAT'S OTHER DOING AND I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY.. BE HAPPY, MK..

Which way - I don't know

Which way??
I don't know....

Today, I received a letter from WIT. The letter stated that I need to send some more documentations to them to see whether they can change my fee status or not. Then I rang them. The woman told me that I will have to pay 8400+ because of my stamp 2 status here. I think it isn't fair. It is abit expensive for me.

I don't know what to do. I'm not the kind of person who has brilliant result. I'm not a good student and I really think I shouldn't spend too much on the fee as I'm not really good at studies. But on the other hand, without education, what else I can do.

May be it is the time to start the other dream??
May be?

I don't know..

Dream Life

Dream
Everyone in this planet dreams
Whether you are a teenager, or an adult or a politician
We all dream and dream
What's your dream???

This few days, I was thinking about the dreams
There are alots
I know I need to work hard and hard for them
So I really pushed myself to them
I told myself to keep going and not to stop
But
One of my Entertainment Dream I'm lost
Should I go for it now?
May be I should wait until I graduate

I know my dream life won't happens in this such place
I know my dream life won't happens in this few years
I know I have to wait till I graduate
I know I have to leave this such place
I know I won't stay in this such place

I don't know
Really
I don't know
I hope I can have my dream life in the future
I hope I can make it true

WELL, HOPEFULLY

Melodies

I like Music
I love Music
I adore Music

Music touchs me and feels me and comforts me

My spirit will go into the melodies and I can feel the stories of the melodies

I don't know what I want to say right now

I just want to say

MUSIC IS PART OF MY LIFE
I LIKE SING-K
I LIKE COMPOSE NEW MELODIES AND LYRICS

Value those that you have right now - 珍惜眼前人

I miss her - My Granny
My granny is now 80 years old and will turn 81 soon

80 seems like a gate for us - It is a old gate for us

My parents left me and my brother and they went to Ireland for work when I was 3 years old. My granny and my aunt were the one whose raised me up and whose took care of me and my brother. But we left them when I was 12. We went to Ireland and we stayed here till now. Well, of course, we returned there 3 times so far. Everytime I returned there, I saw their faces were paled and more older. They aren't the one whose used to take care of me. Their pale hair made me regret. They aren't young anymore.

I miss them. I really miss them. I want to see them and take care of them. Seriously, I can't wait to graduate and return to homeland to stay with them. Of course with my parents too. This is one of my dream.

This summer, 2010. I thought that I should be responsible and shouldn't use too much money for returning and shouldn't just leave my parents and job here. But I realised that the job doesn't need me. I realised that I don't have the exploitation value anymore. They don't need me. They abandoned me.

I'm really regret that I didn't return to visit my granny and my relatives in Malaysia. I miss them. It is too late for returning.

I like read newspaper. But you know, many news in newspaper are about the deaths and stuff like that. I feel that we must always value those that we have right now. We must cherish, we must act on our dreams and we must use the valuable time.

Definitely, I will return next year and definitely I won't pay too much time on those rubbish things... I will enjoy my life and I won't just work and work and I won't make life difficult for myself.

I WANT TO MOVE ON

Truth is REALISTIC

REALISTIC

Truth is always realistic
Society is always realistic
People is always realistic
WE ARE ALWAYS REALISTIC TOO

Since from my ignorance, I saw many ruthless,selfish and ugly faces. I experienced the lies,the useds, and the gossips. No matter how good they used to be; No matter how good you were; No matter how close you were; When they come to the advantages, they will betray you and leave you with shits. They don't care, and actualy they won't care.

I admit.
I'm selfish person too. When it comes to the end, I'll always make a good way for myself. But I'm not the type of person who ignore the miserable of others. So??I ended up nothing.

I don't hate those duplicity who used me and fooled me. Because I know the societies and the realities forced them to. I know it is the time to wake up and not to accommodate myself to others. I've done enough.

It is the right time to make things happen and not wait them give me chances when they feel want to.

I have to fight for opportunities.

Rainy Day - Time to move on

It is raining outside at the moment

The weather is very soft, cool and comfortable

I like this type of weather, but just if I stay at home

Hmm .. Actualy

After returned from Paris, I haven't done much

It's like doing nothing

It is very enjoyable and it gave me time to think

What I'm going to do in 2 months time?
&
What I'd love to do in my life?
&
What I'd love to achieve in my life?

I can't really put down answers

But I did put down aims I want to achieve for 2010 :)

Well, a good new start..

From my point of view, I think we can't really set a goal or something because life is so changeable. You can't predict what will happen. Life isn't steady enough. Life is so short and everything is just so unexpected. But mission, goals and aims can motivate you.

The mission I always want for life since I was very young is earn a good money and provide my family a good and steady life. I don't like to see them force themselves to stay in the work conditions like hell. All I want is just a happy life. It is always my dream.

I know I have to work and move on. Therefore, learning is my plan for this summer.

Mission

What is a Mission

From my brain - Mission is the overall objective of something
It can be your business's mission, your life mission, and etc

What is your life mission?

I'm not really sure

Well, I have some clues but I　can't really put it down

May be it is the time that I should really think and following my goal

LET'S START THINKING!!!!!