Tired -- > Fear

I already been college for 5 weeks. It will be my week 6 next week.
If you ask me my comments for the pst 5 weeks, I'd say NOT AS GOOD AS I THOUGHT.

It probably just myself have thinking too much but it is really what I think about it right now
Before I go to college:
I thought it would be happy
I thought it would be enjoyable
I thought it would be rock
After the 5 weeks there:
It is not very happy
It is not enjoyable
It is not rock

Well, I'm not saying it is really suck but it is just not good enough.
I feel TIRED
-Have to drive about 35 mins each way
-I have to get up 2 hours before the class start
-Confused, tired, upset about the realationship with people
-Spend about 100 euro each week
I'M REALLY TIRED
Money isn't really a big deal
What disturbed me since I started is the people

I don't know how to communicate well with people
I always say something wrong
I always do smething wrong
I really don't know who I can really trust and believe
I really don't know and understand what the hell they're doing
What is the purpose?? Tell me Tell me Tell me
I pretended myself as a fool
I pretended not to care
I pretended that I was happy
I pretended that I wasn't upset
And of course, I made few good friends. I'm glad that I met them, otherwise I'd die

Seriously
All I want is SIMPLE
I don't need the lies
I'm not kind of girl who like to cheat and pretend
I just want straight forward and simple reponse
Can you please don't lie and fool me
If you tell me your true thought, I won't mind even it is cruel
I'm happy in this way

I know
It's the time to learn
It's the time to be mature
It's the time to grow
It's the time to give up
It's the time not to serious
It's the time not to stubborn
It's the time to LIVE FOR MYSELF

Each week can happened many things
Each week can change my attitute
Each week can hurt me
I'm just speechless now.... SILENCE

MK, BE STRONG
BE BRAVE
BE REALISTIC


Actually
I FEEL SCARED AND WORRIED
Many things - too much, too many had happened, some other bad things will come soon as well
What I can do??
NOTHING
Just simply wait it to come to find me.....